PBP2014: D – For Divination

Divination has played a large part in my pagan lifestyle.  When I first discovered Wicca (as we all do), the first thing I learned was how to shield.  But the second…the second thing I learned was how to divine the future.  I started with throwing stones in the playground, and it transformed into using the Ouija Board (until my mother found out, and banned it from the house).  And that transformed into quartz crystals, and finally, tarot cards.

I can still remember my first tarot deck – a sultry purple, kept hidden in my underwear drawer until I felt comfortable enough to come out with my first altar (and that, I remember too – a pathetic thing, with four candles and a mirror – it took me a long time to realize that the “Wiccan” way of doing things meant little and less to me).  The Mythic Tarot, a play on images of my favourite Grecian myths, which lead me and guided me through the bulk of my teenage years, and well into my early twenties.

I can still remember my trepidation, as I realized whenever I used the cards, they told me of ill fortunes to come – nearly all of which came true.  I remember pulling the Death card, and the Devil, more times than I can count.  I remember them telling me over and over, no matter how many different questions I asked, that my life would be a struggle, and I would come out stronger for it.  My first breakup: you will come out stronger for this.  My first surgery: you will come out stronger for this. The first time I failed a course: you will come out stronger for this.

I didn’t believe them.  For the first time in my life, I didn’t believe them.  Nothing could be worse than this, my young adult brain thought.  This is the end of you.

And I put the cards away. I hid them, sequoistered within the confines of my altar cabinet, collecting dust.  Coming with me move after move, and never being touched for years.

I became afraid of my cards.  They only predicted the bad things to come, and I didn’t want to know.  I wanted to live in the present, or be stuck in the past, but I definitely did not want to know the future.  The future was a problem for my future self (and in some ways, I still believe this.)

Finally, two years ago, I bought a new deck of cards.  And I finally have a new understanding.  They don’t predict the bad things in my future.  They don’t predict anything.  They are a tool which lets me know, that if I follow on the course I’m on, they are one of a thousand likely outcomes.  Now, sometimes my fortune comes true, and sometimes, in a rare while, I make a conscious choice not to let that future become true.  And just sometimes, a bad thing still happens, but rather than wallow in my own self-destruction, I look for the other reasons that the fates have led me here, and I try to find joy in it.

Now, I have one tarot deck, two Rune sets (both handmade, one by me, and one by a long-distance acquaintance), and I can read the Homeric Oracle*.

And now, I let the Fates guide me, but I don’t let the Fates control me.

*For more information, please see my guest post over at nuannaarpoq.wordpress.com 

PBP2014d

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PBP2014: D – For Divination

Rune of the Day: Thurisaz Merkstave

Thurisaz, Merkstave:

Danger, defenselessness, compulsion, betrayal, dullness. Evil, malice, hatred, torment, spite, lies.

 

Additional information:

With the Thurisaz rune drawn reversed shows that a quickening of your development is indicated. Yet even in times of accelerated growth, you will have reason to halt along the way to consider and reconsider the old and to integrate the new. Take advantage of these halts.

If you are undergoing difficulties, remember, the nature of your passage depends upon the quality of your attitude, the clarity of your intention and the steadfastness of your will.

Be certain that you are not suffering over your suffering.

Drawing the Thurisaz rune merkstave demands contemplation on your part. Hasty decisions made at this time may cause regret as you will be coming from a place of weakness. You may deceive yourself about your motives and create new problems, which may be more severe than the ones you are attempting to resolve.

Reversed, Thurisaz warns of naivety and vulnerability in a situation that may prove to be negative. It tells of betrayal and the approach of a malicious and deceitful person.

Thurisaz reversed tells of betrayal and the approach of a malicious and deceitful person.

Thurisaz drawn reversed tells you to beware that you keep your personal power in check. Never use it to manipulate others or for your own personal gain, particularly at the expense of others.

Strength is only power when it is used constructively and positively.

source

Rune of the Day: Thurisaz Merkstave

Rune of the Day: Isa, and Tiwaz Merkstave

Isa:

A challenge or frustration. Psychological blocks to thought or activity, including grievances. Standstill, or a time to turn inward and wait for what is to come, or to seek clarity. This rune reinforces runes around it.

Tiwaz, Merkstave:

Ones energy and creative flow are blocked. Mental paralysis, over-analysis, over-sacrifice. Injustice, imbalance, failure, loss of passion.

Rune of the Day: Isa, and Tiwaz Merkstave